Gifts for a Grandmother

A grandmother is the hardest person to buy jewelry for, and it is not because she is fussy. It is because she already owns more of it than she wears.

So the question is not what to add. It is what she cannot wear any more, and why.

Why does she stop wearing jewelry she owns?

Nine times out of ten the reason is the clasp, not the piece.

Spring rings and small lobster clasps require pinching a lever a few millimetres wide while holding both ends behind your own neck. With reduced grip strength or arthritis that is not a minor inconvenience — it is the end of wearing that necklace.

Magnetic clasps, larger lobster clasps, and slip-on styles solve this completely. A necklace she can put on alone is a necklace she wears.

The same applies to earrings. Fiddly butterfly backs get abandoned; leverbacks and hoops do not.

What length works best?

Something that clears the head, or something that opens wide.

If you are buying a chain she has to put on herself, an 18 to 20 inch length is easier to manage than a shorter one. Longer still, at 24 inches and up, can go on over the head with no clasp at all.

Avoid delicate 16 inch chains that need to be fastened tight at the back of the neck. That is precisely the piece that ends up in the drawer.

Should I buy something with her birthstone or her grandchildren's?

Grandchildren's, and not because of the stones.

A piece that encodes her family gives her something to explain. That is most of the value — she will tell someone about it, and the telling is the part she keeps.

Keep the count honest and the design restrained. Three or four stones reads as jewelry; nine reads as a chart.

Is it worth spending more on a grandmother's gift?

Not much more, no.

Jewelry given late in life is often intended to be passed on, which sounds meaningful and in practice means it is worn rarely and kept carefully. If you want her to have the piece, buy something she will wear this year.

Somewhere between $60 and $120 buys sterling silver or gold vermeil with a good clasp, which is a better gift than solid gold with a clasp she cannot work.

What should I avoid entirely?

Rings, unless you already know her size, and heavy pieces of any kind.

Ring sizes change with age and with the seasons, and a ring that does not fit is a gift she has to apologise for. Weight is the other quiet problem — a heavy pendant on a thin chain pulls, and heavy earrings drag on ear piercings that have been in place for sixty years.

Light, easy to fasten, and in the metal she has always worn. That is the whole specification.